thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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