am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I didn't notice because vodka
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
