i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
