I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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