ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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