a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
