I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize