Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is Oprah even human
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
