Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
