PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
