when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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