I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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