I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
