She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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