so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize