I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
