Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
