I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
