just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
