you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
