with your own penis?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
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