Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
