Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I didn't notice because vodka
Someone came in the potted fern
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