it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
