dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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