He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
