While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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