pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This is the high leading the old right now
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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