Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize