i don't like sucking hair
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
