even my farts smell like vagina
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
