I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize