Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
