I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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