Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
