He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
