Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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