you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
