can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
