Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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