He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
