I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
