4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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