the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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