Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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