So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
