you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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