i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
