wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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