Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize