Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
