so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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