things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it because I queefed?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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