I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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