I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
