There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
