they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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