kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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