I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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