hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
