just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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