Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
