so explain again why im purple
no
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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