If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We are two peas in an std pod
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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