eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize