Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
