we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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