I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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