dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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